I am a Good Mother
Dear Gavin,
It's late and mommy had a long day taking care of Sophie and yet I can't sleep. Something happened today that made me feel so down in the dumps even when I thought I was feeling much better.
I had a talk with Tita Tess today and she suggested that you'd be better off if daddy takes care of you. I said I'd think about it but when I told Sheryll and Eddie about our conversation, their reactions made Mommy cry again.
Eddie criticize my being a mother by saying that I'm too lazy to take care of a child. Then my sister said that I just get myself pregnant and leave my kids to be taken care by someone else.
The worst thing I could hear from someone is to be criticized about my worth as a parent. I could bare all the insults about myself but hearing someone say that I'm not worthy to be a parent just makes me feel less of a person.
I would never, even in my bad days, criticize any parent when it comes to raising their child. I see how my sister treats her daughter but I would never tell her how she should discipline Sophie since she's really growing up to be a brat. I've seen my cousins with their kids and they never heard me say anything about how they should be as parents.
What really bothers me is how Sheryll allowed Eddie to say those things in my face when all along she knows how patient I am when it comes to taking care of Sophie, how I was able to be a mother to your Ate Jenna at 18, even for just two years, that it wasn't my choice to leave her behind and that I did my best to be a good mother to your Ate even if I wasn't the one taking care of her.
I could just imagine what it would make Sheryll feel if those things were said to her. Any mother would agree that hearing things like that is quite upsetting. And what's worse is that I should not be feeling so sad right now because I know it's bad for you.
Whatever they said today about me, I'm just gonna let it slide, for now. But the next time I'd hear one more comment about how I am as a mother, I promise myself that they would hear things that I've been keeping inside since I came back from Manila.
Tomorrow I'm gonna confront Sheryll about what happened today. I'm gonna tell her that even though I live in their house, they have no right to tell me that I am not a good mother. They could say whatever that want against me but I do have my limits and that lies on the grounds on how I am as a parent to my kids.
And I promise you that one of these days, we're gonna show them how wrong they are to treat us so badly. We're gonna show them that they're wrong to say those things because we're gonna prove to them that Mommy has what it take to be a better parent than they are.
Mommy's not happy. She's had enough and her patience is now dangling by a thread. I know you're feeling as down as I am. I'm sorry but I just can't help it. Maybe tomorrow, things would be better for both of us.
It's late and mommy had a long day taking care of Sophie and yet I can't sleep. Something happened today that made me feel so down in the dumps even when I thought I was feeling much better.
I had a talk with Tita Tess today and she suggested that you'd be better off if daddy takes care of you. I said I'd think about it but when I told Sheryll and Eddie about our conversation, their reactions made Mommy cry again.
Eddie criticize my being a mother by saying that I'm too lazy to take care of a child. Then my sister said that I just get myself pregnant and leave my kids to be taken care by someone else.
The worst thing I could hear from someone is to be criticized about my worth as a parent. I could bare all the insults about myself but hearing someone say that I'm not worthy to be a parent just makes me feel less of a person.
I would never, even in my bad days, criticize any parent when it comes to raising their child. I see how my sister treats her daughter but I would never tell her how she should discipline Sophie since she's really growing up to be a brat. I've seen my cousins with their kids and they never heard me say anything about how they should be as parents.
What really bothers me is how Sheryll allowed Eddie to say those things in my face when all along she knows how patient I am when it comes to taking care of Sophie, how I was able to be a mother to your Ate Jenna at 18, even for just two years, that it wasn't my choice to leave her behind and that I did my best to be a good mother to your Ate even if I wasn't the one taking care of her.
I could just imagine what it would make Sheryll feel if those things were said to her. Any mother would agree that hearing things like that is quite upsetting. And what's worse is that I should not be feeling so sad right now because I know it's bad for you.
Whatever they said today about me, I'm just gonna let it slide, for now. But the next time I'd hear one more comment about how I am as a mother, I promise myself that they would hear things that I've been keeping inside since I came back from Manila.
Tomorrow I'm gonna confront Sheryll about what happened today. I'm gonna tell her that even though I live in their house, they have no right to tell me that I am not a good mother. They could say whatever that want against me but I do have my limits and that lies on the grounds on how I am as a parent to my kids.
And I promise you that one of these days, we're gonna show them how wrong they are to treat us so badly. We're gonna show them that they're wrong to say those things because we're gonna prove to them that Mommy has what it take to be a better parent than they are.
Mommy's not happy. She's had enough and her patience is now dangling by a thread. I know you're feeling as down as I am. I'm sorry but I just can't help it. Maybe tomorrow, things would be better for both of us.
I love you,
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