Gavin Visits the Doctor for a Check Up

Dear Gavin,

I was so disappoitment with what the pediatrician said when we saw him today for a check-up. Since you're just 10 weeks old, he can't do or give anything to help you, except for saline which will only help with the runny nose. You were coughing and crying while they were giving you your treatment (vaporized saline) and I couldn't calm you down.

Honestly, I'm just so tired. I haven't slept, no longer than two hours, since Saturday night and in the morning you always want to be carried. You just keep on crying unless I pick you up and fall asleep in my arms, but wake up just as soon as you feel your head touch the bed. I'm no superwoman, so I feel like all my energy's been drained out completely.

You're asleep right now but I know that in a few minutes, I'll be hearing you cry for me. Mommy needs her rest and even if I plead repeatedly for you to just sleep, you just won't stop bugging me. You know how much I love you but sometimes I hate the way I feel whenever I couldn't make you calm down. It's frustrating and irritating.

Tomorrow, I'll start giving you juice since your doctor said that it's okay for you to take an ounce or two in a day. I just wish you'll feel better soon or else I'll go crazy if I continue to torture myself with no sleep.

The Sick Baby Strikes Again

Dear Gavin,

Little boy, how come you're sick again? It's been less than a month since you were hospitalized and yet here we are again, minus the ER drama. I'm pretty sure you got it from Ate Sophie, who recently has the same symptoms.

Last night, the coughing and congestion bothered you that we barely slept. Then your fever reached 102, I had to give you medication. You passed out a few minutes after, drousy and tired. You barely drank your milk and peed less than usually. Good thing you pooped, which means I shouldn't worry for dehydration.

Though your fever subsided, I had to give you another dose when I felt you were starting to get warm again. It was just 100.6 but I had to make sure all necessary precautions were done and given before I would start to panic. By morning, the fever's gone but you still had the cough and colds.

Right now, you're in my arms not wanting to sleep in the bed. And despite the lack of rest, with my muscles tired from your weight, I still proved to you that I had enough energy in me to take care of you.

Wish you'll get better soon.

With worries all for you,

Gavin Being Discharged

Gavin's finally home.

We were discharge from the hospital late last night (around 7pm) with a clean bill of health. His temperature since last night was about 98 and he's slowly becoming his active self again.

His final diagnosis was a viral infection and his antibiotic treatment was just for precautionary measures while they were waiting for the test results. There's nothing much they could do unless he gets the fever again but I should make sure that he's dehydrated at the same time.

I had a fit with the intern taking care of Gavin's discharge papers. Having being informed at 12 noon that we could go home, I waited for 6 more hours before all the papers were ready. It was frustrating since it was starting to rain pretty bad, my sister was upset that I had the housekeys (so she had to drop by the hospital) and it was getting late already. If I didn't start bothering the nurses every 10 minutes, they wouldn't even start working on his papers. When the intern finally signed the papers, he thanked me for being patient. But I was already in a bad mood, so I didn't thank him back and left. Paghintayin ka ba naman ng 6 na oras, kung di ka ba naman mapikon, diba?

Aside from the RSV (read previous entry), his blood test showed that he is anemic - which is not normal for kids his age, given that the formula he drinks has iron. So they gave me iron supplements and multivitamins, as well as acetaminophen in case his fever comes back. They told me to check his temperature right away if he feels warm, give him tylenol and a spongebath if its 100.4 and below and only bring Gavin back to the ER if his temperature remains the same despite the medicine and bath or if it reaches 100.6. Honestly, I don't care if his temperature is 100.4 or lower - as soon as he has a fever, I won't hesitate to bring him to the ER.

Before we went home, the nurses complimenting on Gavin's outfits. They said that he was a well-dressed baby. Being the OC mom, I'm not comfortable seeing vomit/spit/milk residue on the kid's clothes. I kept changing him everytime he spits out his milk. On our first day in the hospital, Gavin was wearing a body suit since I knew he was cold and he was having the chills. But the nurses asked me to take him out of it and just leave him in his t-shirt and diaper. And they didn't want me to bundle him up in a blanket eventhough he was shivering. The doctor told that whenever Gavin shivers, he releases enough energy fight off the infection so I should restrain him too much. Seeing him half-naked on the bed was a bit uncomfortable so I constantly carried him just to warm him up. Fortunately, for next two days in the hospital, they allowed me to let him wear the clothes I want - at least di na mukhang yagit anak ko kahit nasa hospital siya.

Next week, aside from his vaccination schedule, I have to follow up with Gavin pediatrician - after being informed about his hospitalization. I'm thinking of switching doctors since his pedia didn't even bother to visit Gavin to check up on him - which means that she's not focused on his patients. I want a doctor who would show concerned with regards to my son's health by making the slightest effort to look at the patient's current state.

Well, I'm just glad Gavin's better although I noticed that he's not crying as loud as before - mejo paos siya after crying for a long time in the ER and everytime he gets pricked with needles - I can see that he's starting to recover - now that he's drinking more and smiling a lot. I would like to thank everybody for the prayers you gave for my little boy
Sidetracking #2: Pictures of Gavin while in the hospital:

DAY 1





With Horatio - when he and Jen visited


DAY 2





DAY 3







OUTSIDE OUR HOSPITAL ROOM'S WINDOW





The hospital has its own police station


The parking lot

Our Day in the Pediatric Care Unit

After two straight days in the hospital, I decided to leave Gavin for the night in order for me to recuperate from not sleeping for the last 24 hours. Though it was hard for me to leave him under the nurses' care, I just need a few hours to get back my strength in order for me to take care of him better - plus, I need to take a shower and a change of clothes.

The first day in the hospital was a blur. Gavin's temperature kept spiking up from 100 to 103. They kept giving him Tylenol and shots of antibiotic. He just slept the whole day, only waking up when the nurses were checking him. Since he was dehydrated when they admitted him and they couldn't put an IV on him, the doctors recommended that he starts drinking Pedialyte. Good thing that he liked it because if not, they would be forced to try to get a central line of him, even if it means poking him a number of times to find a vein. That afternoon, my friend Jen - who also happens to be Gavin's godmother - and her boyfriend Horatio visited Gavin and they brought me lunch - which I'm very grateful for - and I did appreciate the sushi and reserved some of it for dinner. Before the day ended, they told me that his tests were all inconclusive since they still couldn't figure out why he has the high fever despite the negative results. That night, when his fever reached 103.8, they decided to draw more blood since they're quite certain they could catch the bacteria - if there's any - while his fever was high. He didn't even cry when they took blood, probably because he was just too tired to do so.

Today, they gave him another shot of antibiotics, drew more blood and did a mucus test to see if there's any virus. They already ruled out ear infection, UTI and meningitis. I'm sure the doctors and the nurses are tired of hearing me ask "What's wrong with my son?" and all they could tell me is "We're still waiting for the cultures to come back". It's just frustrating to not know the cause of my son's sickness. But I'm happy that he's improving slowly. He's now drinking his milk, pooping regularly, breathing better and his temperature at one time lowered to 98.9 - although in the afternoon it raised to 101 again. He's still under observation so I still don't know when will he be discharge - but I'm hoping it would be tomorrow once the doctors get the final results of all his test.

I know he will be okay when I get there tomorrow morning. I felt it the moment I saw him smile at me - though briefly - this afternoon. I'm just hoping that he'd continue to improve during the night so that he could go home now.

Gavin's Hospital Confinement

It's 2AM. I just got back from the hospital after rushing Gavin to the ER this afternoon.

Since last night, he kept crying non-stop. I've tried everything I knew but he just wouldn't calm down. I knew something was wrong when even the tears wouldn't put him to sleep. I knew he was hurting somewhere - I just don't know.

This morning, he was still agitated. I even skipped my cardiology appointment since I didn't want Gavin out of the house when he looked sick to me. And he felt warm but I couldn't get his temperature since he kept moving (while he was crying hysterically) and I don't have a rectal thermometer. But when he started vomitting everything he takes in, I got worried so I brought him right away to the ER.

The triage nurse helped us the moment she found out that Gavin's only 6 weeks old. They took his vitals and he was running a fever of 100.6 degrees. Although he weighed above average (he's already 11 pounds), they were worried that he was already dehydrated because of the vomitting. He was slightly pale, his skin and lips were dry and he was lethargic as well.

They checked for infections which newborns were suseptible to. They checked his ears, his throat, his eyes and did A LOT of tests on him. I was already starting to panic especially when I heard the doctor say that his breathing was a bit fast.

They had to draw blood for the test but I started crying as soon as they stuck the needle on him. I just couldn't bear the look on his face - he was in pain. Then they told me that they couldn't draw that much blood because he was too dehydrated - his blood was already thick, it clots right away, making it difficult to pass through the tube. So they decided to put a central line on him since Gavin would have to be on an IV drip for nourishment.

It was like a nightmare seeing my son being poked and probed. They were able to attach the central line but only 100ml of the IV was given then it came off when Gavin suddenly moved his arm. They had a hard time putting it back again so they kept poking him with needle after needle both in his small arms and legs. As soon as I saw blood coming out of his arm, I left the room. I just couldn't see him like that. They weren't able to do it in the end. The doctor didn't want to push it any further since Gavin's already exhausted from crying and he's been poked too much already leaving a bruise in his right arm.

They also needed urine sample. But since he's just a baby, they used a catheter to get the pee. Gavin's not yet circumsized so they has to push back the foreskin in order to insert the tube. I guess he was uncomfortable with having a foreign object stuck through his penis that he kept crying so loud especially when they had to push the skin back to its original state.

Then there was the spinal tap to rule out meningitis. The doctor asked me to leave the room, fearing that I might pass out once I see the long needle that would enter Gavin's back. Same procedure like the epidural, I can just imagine how much pain my son has to endure. They had to do it twice with 4 people trying to hold him steady. Waiting for it to be over felt like a decade to me and all I wanted at the moment was to comfort him while he cries

They also gave him a shot of antibiotics and some Tylenol for the fever (which became worse at 101.9). By then, Gavin was already tired, hungry and weak, he could barely open his eyes.

Their diagnosis at the moment is sepsis since all the test results haven't come back yet although they said he's anemic.

The doctor informed me that they have to transfer me to another hospital since Gavin needs to be admitted and confined for 48 hours until they get the results for the lumbar punction test. They had no available rooms at NCBH (Gavin's pedia's hospital) so they transferred us to Jacobi Medical (which is a bigger and better hospital) by ambulance. It felt weird being strapped into the gurney - since there's no other way to transfer a patient and I was carrying Gavin.

When we got the Jacobi, Gavin's room was already prepared. The rooms in the pediatric unit have cribs (beds with ajustable rails) and a cot for the parents to sleep on. His fever already reduced to 100, thanks to the Tylenol and he was crying that much anymore. Unfortunately, the doctors assigned to Gavin were interns - who I'm guessing younger than me - and I felt uncomfortable leaving my son with inexperienced doctors who writes their notes in pink paper.

But I had to leave him - just for tonight - since I didn't anticipate the thought that he would be admitted. I'm at home right now, packing Gavin's clothes and a few books to read during out stay. And although the unit's open 24 hours for parents, I opted to rest at home tonight and come back as early as I can since I haved slept for the last 24 hours.

I'm already missing him now that he's in the hospital. I should be getting my sleep right now but I couldn't because he's not beside me. I even started smelling his clothes while I was packing, thinking how comforting that baby scent was to me. Tomorrow, I hope he feels better - I pray that he becomes better or else my guilt would slowly eat me up knowing that I wasn't able to take GOOD care of him.